I want to share a breakthrough I had today!
I am someone who LOVES to move, be outside and enjoys the way the exercising makes me feel – from the inside out! But, for the past several months I have felt like a prisoner in my own home. I work there, live there, and raise my children there. But those aren’t the reasons why I feel “trapped”.
Back Story: Last May, I was chased from a highly populated trail while running to my home, by a young (& very fast) homeless man, who still lives in the park near my home in Seattle. He never touched me (could have it I wasn’t running as fast) but nonetheless, arriving back at my home to enter, only to find that he was right behind me at the sidewalk, has put me in a state of fear. I had seen him several times in the year prior, only walking (never running) in our neighborhood and on the surrounding paved trails that I love to bike, run, walk and live on.
Even though police know who he is, I have a name, information about other reports, know he has mental instabilities, and have shared with others so neighbors are keeping an eye out for their safety – I do NOT feel safe in my own beautiful neighborhood. Even at home without the alarm on, I don’t feel safe.
Today, I took a leap of faith, after dropping off my daughter at her bus stop and heading home, I chose to walk around a few blocks in my neighborhood ALONE for the first time. I felt “okay”, not great, but nonetheless it was a good start to my Recovery.
I do not like feeling “trapped” or “fearful” all the time, and even though I will continue to pick up my children from their bus stops and exercise with friends & family most of the time (for now.) I was proud of myself for getting out there.
FEAR has Never helped anyone.. and it has taken a toll on my family, my health and overall happiness this summer. But I will not continue to live in it daily, and today was a start!
I share this, not to scare you, but with the intention that you might take a small step or giant leap, out of your comfort zone, in whatever capacity that is for you.
Do Not let FEAR hold you back from truly Living. For some that might be taking a leap of faith to begin something new like school, a challenging job, or new relationship. For others, it is finally letting go of people, feelings or things that are holding you back from being your best self!
Each day I breathe easier and although I wish he was in custody, receiving mental health care he deserves, or no longer “living” just a few blocks from my home, I need to move forward each and every day and not continue to give him the power that he took away that day. My wish for each of you, is that you hold HOPE in your hearts and go for it. Nothing great was earned from letting Fear fuel us.